[-- HeArT BrOkEn`--]

2004-08-07T18:10:00.000-07:00

yeah!
finally edited my blog skin le..
wee`!
so boring..
nothing to do sia..
yesterday slept at 2+ den woke up at 4+..
den watch tv.. nothing much..
had dinner lor..
den watch tv again..
den at night..
slept quite early..
thought alot of things..
slept bout 10+..
den sleep until this morning..
wanted to sleep more this morning..
but mummy woke me up..
den say go teck whye..
den ok lor..
came home..
kor went to ken's house..
den i at home..
tmr going out..
sian.. dun feel like sia.. lolx.. =/
dun let mummy see sia..
not i sure kanna scolded..
now mummy scolding the M1 ppl ..
cos they dun let mummy cancel the plan...
lolx..
she sure bad mood one sia..
sian..
today daisy's birthday oso..
forgotten bout it..
she reminded me sia..
haha.. den she asked me go her b'day party this mon..
see how lor..
got pebbles oso sia.. =D
miss her oso.. lolx.. =P
tues going to play badminton.. yeah!
finally can go play liao..
haish... nothing to say liao..
bye!

[`MiN]
[__ I aLwAyS cArE fOr YoU`__]]

2004-08-06T18:18:00.000-07:00

haish..

yesterday.. she called me..

we started chatting..

wad can i say?

i asked her if she found out we "su yuan" alot liao..

she knew it.. or rather we both knew it..

but wad i can say is our mental thinking lor..

i just feel that..

there's nothing wrong with u..

i can sense that u're trying hard to gain back this friendship..

but i also noe that the problem lies with me..

just wad the hell is wrong with me?

some things i just can't write it here..

but who can i tell?

i'm feeling so emotional..

and its so suddenly..

i had been thinking the whole night..

what had led me into become like this..

in the past i told u before..

w/o, i dunno wad my life will become..

w/o, i'll be bored..

but now..

i got more into band..

i spent more time with my band friends..

most of the time, i spent with them..

it made my life so fun..

talking bout band stuff..

not thinking bout my friendship problems..

isn't that great?

maybe u might think that the moment i had new friends, i forget the old oneS?

in some ways.. i can't deny..

in my present life..

other than band things..

wad else can i talk to u?

some things not i dun wanna tell u..

but u dunno anything..

where u wan me to start from?

at least my band friends noe wad i talking..

most of it i'm talking bout band stuffs..

i'm really very sorry to leave u out..

i'm very sorry that sometimes i never tell u the truth..

but the truth usually hurt a person..

i feel a totally change in me after the ---

wth!

so much thing happened to me after the june holidays..

but i told u nothing at all..

where u wan me to start?

say liao u oso dunno anything..

i oso dun wanna add on for u to worry for me..

i really apologise to u.. sorry!

[_ to KAOXS`_]

well.. i oso have to apologise to u gals..

for neglecting u gals..

i thought bout it last nite..

realised i wasn't really talking to u gals..

same thing..

i didn't tell u all wad happened to me when u gals ask me...

sometimes u gals dun bother to ask..

so i oso dun say lor..

if i had gave u gals attitude..

i apologise..

i just wanna be a good friend..

i just wanna be someone who will be there whenever u gals need a friend..

same thing.. the reason why i seldom talk is becos..

most of the things i talk bout is bout band matters..

and i dun think u gals are interested to listen..

so forget it..

just now i asked if u gals wanna go down to town..

u gals said u was not free..

so its ok..

i'll sleep instead..

come to think of it..

when was the last time we 5 went out together?

if i'm not wrong.. it was on 7/2 this year rite?

haish.. wad am i talking bout?

haish.. nevermind ba..

once again.. i'm sorry!
last nite couldn't really get to sleep..

think i was kinda excited?

haish..

woke up 5...

gave candy a morning call..

went back to sleep..

den.. after that.. huier gave me a morning call at 5.55am..

very punctual somemore sia..

haha..

den woke up lor..

changed and went to st to meet them..

candy was late..

haha.. today really huier 1st to reach sia..

haha.. i predicted it correctly.. lolx..

den me and huier went to school 1st..

before that, bought cakes for ain..

den went to school.. helped to arrange the chairs..

went up.. candy was waiting upstairs ba..

den we went to change..

so warm sia..

den was kind of rushing?

dunno la..

den celebration start liao..

like that lor..

was trembling when i was playing my solo..

i'm not satisfied with it..

haish.. but nvm..

den we be came so siao when the choir came out to sing..

surprisingly rite.. the ppl there listen to our band play sia..

lolx.. =/

we stood on the chair and did some stunts.. lolx..

so fun sia..

seldom see the band like that one..

den went up keep instruments..

took pictures of the band..

sang b'day song for ain..

lolx.. today is a fun day..

if everyday like that den good sia..

my leg got blisters..

arrgH!

den went to change..

den like so many ppl's thing left int he room...

so messy..

den we 3 last to go..

so kept it in the storeroom lor..

den baton think missing or maybe with teacher ba...

dunno la..

den i wasn't in a good mood oso..

den xt they all came up for meeting..

asked me wanna go ikea with their dance ppl..

i didn't wan to..

cos was like so extra..

i went home instead..

saw miao xin..

we went to mac and chatted until bout 12...

den we went home..

was such a long time since we last chatted..

haish..

kor went out to watch movie with his dear.. lolx.. =x

oops.. dun let him see this sia..
suddenly ---- him so much..

arrgh! wth! why am i thinking bout it?

haish.. dun feel like blogging le..

byex!

[`MiN__]]

[__ FaLLiNg FoR u DeEpEr EaCh DaY`__]]

2004-08-05T18:23:00.000-07:00

now.. in school.. lolx..
english lesson.. bo liao..
teacher dun care.. so i oso dun care lor.. lolx..=/
yesterday got the rehersal again.. so sian..
we're facing the sun lor!
worst is those facing directly towards the sun.. very hot!
haha.. but i is ok one la..very tiring..
nothing much.. den after that the whole thing ended at bout 7..
lunch time i went out to 711
den on our way back..
some things happen..well.. i'm tried to help u 2..
den nvm lor..
she was so angry that she cried.. i was like.. omg!
wad should i do? lolx..
den went home after the rehersal..
reached home 7.30
watch teebee and eat..
den went to my room..
study for me physics test..den.. sms along the way.. haha..
den went to sleep..
too tired..
never really finish revising them all..
shit man!
got no confidence in the test sia..
just lessons were still ok..
learned new things in POA..
recess.. never go down eat..
cos.. ----
now english.. so inside here lor..
nothing much..
haish.. there's really gap between us now..
i feel so wierd together..
haish.. dunno how to say..
we sometimes hardly talk..
wad is this man?
nevermind.. i bleaf time will heal..
hopefully ba..omg!!!
Dorean Tan TOUCHED my face sia..
wth! den after that made my face feel so itchy.. =x
dun touch me!!! arrgh!!! =/
nothing much..
dun feel like blogging le..

[` to you_]]

dun worry so much..
time will heal eveything..
with all these experiences..
they'll learn something in life..
everyone goes thru this kind of things..
u oso dun think so much..
take care of ur own self too..
if u need help..
i'll be very willing to help...
dun worry! cheer up~!! =D
anyway.. as u can see..
things are gradually improving.. rite?
overcome this obstacle and u all will be fine.. =)

[`MiN__]
[__ DuN wOrRy So MuCh`__]]

2004-08-03T04:27:00.000-07:00

haish.. recently not much time to update.. busy with tests?
can like that say ba.. lolx..
hmm.. lets talk bout sat..
went for band..
met up with candy and huier..
den went to school for band..
but no drills cos it was raining.. lolx.. =P
den wad else?
nothing much lor..
den after band.. where i went huh?
oh ya.. went to play badminton with huier, candy, kai feng and the other guys lor..
was still ok.. but i didn't play much.. not fun lor.. lolx..
den after that.. sat down there talk to candy..
talked alot.. lolx.. mostly is our problems ba.. lolx..
den went home at 4+..
reach home nothing much lor..
tired...
next day went to AMK to cut my hair...
arrgh! i regret!!!
lolx.. but no choice.. now regret too late liao.. lolx..
den went bugis with mum, kor and dad..
nothing much lor..
wanted to subscibe max online de..
ba our singnet one haven expire..
so wait lor.. lolx..
yeah!
yesterday got rehersal..
tired sia..
huier and candy not here..
they went to old folks home.. lolx
nothing much..
rehersal was boring..
reached home 7..
walked home with alice..
long time no chat..
dun really noe wad to talk..
cannot say much le..
later going to old folks home..
hmm.. 1st ime wor.. lolx..
cannot blog le..
going offline le..
byex!

[`MiN]
[__ I'Ll Be ThErE fOr U`]

2004-07-30T04:25:00.000-07:00

haish.. today is a very tiring day for me..
morning woke up unwillingly..
realised i'm getting more and more sensitive..
why? i really sometimes wonder why.. haish..
looking forward to band..
knowing today's is the last day..
i'm sad.. yesh i am..
i feel guilty... i feel.. depressed?
had sphagetti for lunch...
denw ent for band.. quite late..
who cares?
i can't be bothered..
as usual.. practised.. played all the songs we had in the file except for ROB.. haish..
i miss him.. but i noe he wun be back..
i cried.. i was so sad..
i tried not to..
after songs.. memories just flashed into my mind..
i can't stop thinking..
i didn't want that practise to end..
i seriously didn't wan it to end..
but i got no choice..
i will still have to face it one day..
after band.. i wanted to tell the band to thank jeremy..
but i failed to..
whenever i came to think of it.. i will feel very sad..
just wanna cry out everything..
i'm not as strong as the way i look..
i emotionally weak.. --> that's wad one of my ex-form teacher said bout me..
took our band uniform..
went down to the cafeteria.. talk talk..
den went to lao xing's house..
had dinner..
dunno why today so tired..
den went home with kor 1st..
just reached home not long ago..
later go bathe.. den sleep..

i realised.. we're drifting apart..
issit becos of me?
was i the blame of it?
i tried to get closer to u guys..
but its just that my feelings told me that i dun feel like it..
we became more quiet..
i hardly talk when we're together..
izzit becos we got different interests?
or izzit becos i'm the one with problems?
he told me to stay..
in that case..
i'll listen to him...
i respect him..
i'll stay..
i'll try to...
try to face the reality..
face the future..
face everything in future..

feeling happy with..
wanting to see..
hoping to be with..
but somehow just couldn't..
who's avoiding?
i dunno..
just wish to tell u..
i *** you..

tmr got band.. agaiN!
sian..
drills oso.. haish.. sian!
after that go play badminton..
finally sia.. =D waited so long le..
my eyes are closing...
shouldn't say much le..
bye!

[`MiN__]]
[__ fAcE iT gAL`__]]

2004-07-29T04:25:00.000-07:00

haish.. today is so damn tired..
ok.. basically.. nothing big happened this few days..
tuesday mr hooi came in to teach us bio again..
wahahha! funny sia.. fun.. lolx..
ok.. den wed got band..
went home for lunch.. =D can save money.. haha..
den.. went for band..
started quite late..
rushed to settle down at the parade square..
but damn man!
the weather wasn't good..
den everything was in a mess..
i was like so exhuasted and stress..!
everything so sudden..
i dunno wad to do..
i pestered the t'cher when we can arrange the chair..
i noe i told ms fong that we combine in the music room better..
kaox! go down there waste my time only..
the band was quite good..
but only the sound production wasn't very good..
can't we just do it with the drum solo?
the band reaction was ok.. quite fast ba..
den settled down..
talked bout some things..
we both have the same reasons..
haish.. we felt guilty..
den.. rushed home..
took a bath..
went to relative's house..
cos mother's auntie's b'day...
went there for dinner..
rachel so cute.. and she vomited.. *yucks!*
haha.. lolx.. den i brought my chinese there to study..
den went home at 10.30..
reached home 10.45..
den study finish le..
den suddenly remember got geography corrections need to do..
den stayed up to do my geography..
did my maths..
den went to sleep..
slept bout 11+..
haish.. today very tired...
maths lesson..
rushed finish all my maths homework..
finally understood how to do le..
as for POA... haish..
start new chapter den i dun understand again le..
must slowly pick up again le..
den physics again not shuang la..
always look at me.. never see before ah?
i heck care la..
den geography lesson.. i was doing e maths..
den lunch drank rasberry tea.. shiok sia..
den went to take chinese paper..
shiok sia..
teacher never ask us to seperate table..
den before it start.. see paper le.. dun understand the meaning.. faster ask around..
haha.. but in the jia wei gave me the wrong meaning.. lolz..
den some dunno... i asked xt.. lolx..
cos was like.. so close... can copy wad.. =x
oops! haha.. den went home..
now hungry!!
i wanna eat..
mummy bought alot of biscuits for me to bring the the old folks home..
so much.. how am i going to take? lolx..
nvm.. tmr got band.. yeah!
look forward sia.. but sad..
tmr is his last practice with us..
haish.. i'm sad.. haish... =(
nothing much..
wanna go grab a bite le.. bye!

[`MiN]
[__ bEgInNiNg To MiSs YoU`___]]

2004-07-27T04:22:00.000-07:00

haish.. now in school...
bout 15 mins assembly..
sian..
prepared my blog entry for yesterdy de le..
but melissa not online.. cannot help me update..
so now.. since can update.. update abit lor..
today is a tiring day for me..
woke up late this morning.. haish..
den rush to school..
reached school that time.. bell ring liao..
den faster go toilet..
wad sia.. panic sia.. that mrs chan kept walking around..
wad sia.. make me so panic..
so scared.. "qi shang ba xia" lolx..
nothing much to blog.. bye!
update my yesterrday entry later..

[`MiN]
[__ NoThInG iS fOrEvEr`__]

2004-07-25T04:22:00.000-07:00

damn man! wads the matter with this com huh?
damn pissed off with it..
wanna go into blogger oso cannot..
den must ask melissa help me update the entries..
of cos.. not she update for me la..
i update liao.. save in notepad..
send to her one ma.. hehe.. clever? =/
lolx..
haish.. now i can't even check my e-mail..
shit man!
arrgh!!
yesterday band..
haish.. sian..
not looking forward to band anymore..
it was raining quite heavily..
so no drills..
met up with candy and huier 1st den went to school..
heyhey! i was the 1st to reach..
wahahah! i tout i was late.. =x lolx..
last time i was the last to reach sia..
den today is candy..
think the next time is ... hehe.. huier! lolx.. =P
the people so stupid..
the ava room open liao..
den no one wanna go in.. den all wait ourside.. lolx..
den i oso heck care lor.. haha..
practised the horn today..
but that "lady" told me craps..
i was like.. okok.. fyne..
den some touts came into my mind.. hehe.. only 2 person noe...
cos i only told 2 person..
den ask me warm them up..
den i was like..
ok lor.. den did "i recommend"..
was kind of boring lor..
den played some songs..
tired`.. although i was one of the "conductor"..
my section was like.. chaotic.. =x
haha.. but i can't be bothered..
why should i bother so much when ppl dun even appreciate it?
get HER to do it instead la..
since someonE LIKES HER so mUch...
played "go the distance" 3 times..
cos it was dedicated by kw..
i was fine with it since can make her happy..
can cheer her up abit is oso a good thing..
den went for sectionals..
nothing much to do..
den i was trying on huier's clarinet..
so dufficult sia..
come to think of it..
i was actually a clarinetist when i was in pri 2..
haha.. but now cannot play liao.. cos dunno and forget everything liao sia..
lolx..
den dunno which instrument : trumpet, clarinet or horn..
made my upper lips so pain..
got the teeth marks..
den today my embrochure abit got problem..
play the trumpet abit problem..
not my upper lips still pain sia..
haha.. but nvm la..
after a few days will be ok liao.. lolx..
oh ya.. before i forget..
i managed to read abit of bass clef leh!!
haha.. me, candy and huier were like looking for the part..
the babylon part.. got the euphonium solo one..
nice leh..
den we got take the "essential elements" go look for notes..
den wrote it down..
den we played it together..
haha.. lolx.. den very fun lor..
i serviced my trumpet today..
its all clean!
after band..
nothing much lor..
went to lot 1 with the 2 gals again.. and my da-sao..
my da-sao not very happy ba.. can tell from her expression..
haish.. cos brother la..
pang seh her.. den she so sad..
den no one really accompanied her..
den we were like talking talking.. den think..
she wanted to talk..
den think is me accidentally interupted on wad she wanted to say..
den i abit guilty lor..
den on the whole like felt left and bored? and sad?
bought my re-fill and highlighter liao. wahaha!
and i'm broke liao..
left bout less than 50 cents for this last week sia..
die.. haish..
den after that da-sao went home 1st..
den left the 3 of us.. went ntuc..
den they became so "feng".. esp candy..
started using french to talk to us.. haha..
den i was like.. diao! -.-" haha.. =/
den they went home..
mummy said wan to come fetch me den go aunt's house..
i was like.. ok lor..oso good..
can save on tra
nsport fees..
haha.. dad went vietnam.. will be back today.. lolx..
den went there.. wa liew eh..
BTH sia.. lolx..
reach there.. joel gave me a hug and kiss..
den rachel oso follow.. den my face full of saliva..
den i went to ate something..
den that joel kep pestering me sia..
dun let me eat.. den say wad play " dumb".. den was like he anyhow play one lor..
den he explain to me how to play.. den i see him talk hor..
all his saliva "pen lai pen qu" one leh.. until me oso got his saliva..
den the both of them kept talking to me.. i BTH sia.. lolx.. but bo bian.. they kids ma..
den i say i dun wan play liao.. den bluff joel i wan watch tv..
actually is i find it bored and i tired..
den he say.. nvm la.. at most next round i let u win lor..
mailto:#%R%&!%&^%!*&#^*&&^W*&E^@$&!
wad sia.. arrgh!.. den later i went to take a nap..
cannot really sleep.. cos very noisy sia.. lolx..
den woke up.. went down to the BBQ pit there.. nothing much to do..
my uncle very veyr sarcastic lor.. i wan ah bish him lor.. kaox!
last time whenever i greet him rite, he no reply one ma..
den my kor they greet him.. he will at least say "orh"! den me dun have one ma..
den i saw him walk past.. but was back-view..
so i was thinking nvm la.. later den greet him lor..
den hor.. i watch tv.. too tired.. never see him walk past the tv..
den suddenly saw him there..
i was like.. " should i greet hiM?"
den after that i tout.. " aiyah.. nvm la.. everytime i greet him, he never reply me one.. dun wan greet la.."
den hor.. he hor.. kaox!
ask the rest who are playing cards in the dining room..
"why on the fan when it is not fanning anyone?" wad sia! i damn pissed off lor..
den he off it.. den i was like.. " off off lor.. no big deal..!"
den after that went down help to bbq hor..
den he told auntie GIna say.. " later we ownself eat.." infront of me lor..
den i was like.. arrgh! fyne la! anyway, who wan eat ur food!
wa kao.. like that oso can one lor... last time young time how he treated me..
i still never forget.. next time i oso treat him how he treated me..
still remember got one time.. in my dream, i slapped him.. haha..
den told mummie.. den she say.. den u happy liao rite?
den i say NO! cos i never slap him in real life.. haha.. den mummie say me liao.. =(
den played fire-works.. the stick one.. hehe.. so fun.. lolx.. so long never play liao.. =D
den very late den go home.. and i was so tired..
nothing much lor..
yesterday's dinner was like.. mostly is eat fruits full one.. never really eat the food there..
k le.. got chance den update again.. this entry damn long liao.. byex! take care everyone..! =D

[`MiN]
[__LiFe iS sO uNpReDiCtAbLe`__]]

2004-07-23T04:18:00.000-07:00

haish.. sian..
can't blog..
something is wrong with my com.. hmm..
yesterday wanted to blog.. did i blog yesterday?
someone hacked my com?
haish.. dunno la..
yesterday.. wad happened ah?
hmm.. nothing much lor..
yesterday.. scared huier once.. lolx..
sorry! haha..
den chinese teacher never come.. so no teacher but got relief teacher..
haha.. hmm..
den physics sucks!
not the subject itself sucks la..
its just that the teacher SUCKS!!
haha.. =/
today.. as usual..
went to school for lessons..
something happened in the morning..
sudden teacher meeting..
den the morning assembly no teacher..
haish..
can't interfere too much..
just to noe that she's fine, can liao..
recently.. troubled bout alot of my problem oso..
got friendship, decision-making, band problems lor..
let me tell u this!
not i scared u hor..
u dun scare me lor..
not becos i'm guilty thats why i wanna make that decision..
i hate u! hate to see u!
hate u to alwasy threaten ****..
hate u for everything..
if i'm not ** anymore..
its oso a good thing to me lor..
can skip band..
dunnid to see ur IRRITATING face..
dunnid to force myself just for the sake of the others to work with u..
u SUCKS BIG TIME!!
went for band today..
went to have lunch with huier, candy, mel, ky..
den after that zoey joined in with us.. =D
we talked alot today..
haha.. lolx..
jeremy like bad mood today..
today's environment was quite tensed up today..
i dun like it..
eventually.. my mood oso fall..
haish.. den after band.. was better..
chatted with huier, candy and zoey..
den went home..
den toopid jeremy suddenly called me..
tout something happened to me again..
why so late den go home?
haha..
cannot blog liao..
bye!

[`MiN]
[__ cOnSiDeRiNg`__]]

2004-07-21T04:12:00.000-07:00

haish.. wanted to blog yesterday..
unfortunately..
i wasn't able to..
haish..
fyne lor..
now everything is my fault..
everything i do or say is also my fault lor..
u all not happy can say me..
den wad can i do?
anyone spared a tout for me?
forget it!
everything oso my fault.. can now?
yesterday.. nothing much to say..
said some things that i shouldn't say..
but never say some things that i should say..
haish.. something was wrong with me yesterday..
so wadever i say yesterday..
treat it as i never say before..
today..
not a very good start..
was raining..
tried to listen in class..
time passed quite fast today..
and thats good..
went to 3/8 look for melissa, candy and huier..
went for lunch in school..
wasn't in the mood to eat..
but dunno why..
went to buy the food..
den bo bian..
must finish it ma..
den eat finish..
den suddenly.. something cropped up..
den candy and huier went after someone..
and me and melissa was like..
er.. so wad are we supposed to do?
den dunno lor..
den slowly eat and wait for them to come back..
den went up for band..
mr hong came..
was pissed off with him sia..
waste time nia..
do wad chords..
siao..
nothing better to do ah?
den i played the horn instead of my trumpet..
not bad la..
quite fun..
but my last finger pain sia..
den someone came and changed my mood..
den we changed back to our own instruments lor..
that person conducting that time..
i was like.. wtf lor..
dunno why..
many touts came into my mind..
i was sad..
depressed..
she still can't replace him in my heart..
i can't stop thinking bout him when we were playing the songs..
i tried my best to hold back my tears..
i noe i can't break down infront of the whole band..
i tried to be strong.. i did..
den we packed up..
i went to the toilet..
while walking...
like that lor..
something naturally came down..
haish.. i was.. i dunno how to describe lor..
when i see them like.. like her so much..
i got.. nvm..
i tout she also changed her view..
i was disappointed..
den we fall in..
suddenly called the whole band in to the music room..
again.. ms mulai came in and talked to our band..
the same old thing again..
i endured..
went in and out alor of times..
cos i noe..
i have when i'll..
gave attitude to some ppl..
i'm sorry!
i wasn't in the mood to give comments..
dun ask me how i think of her..
it would be difficult for me to change someone's view..
finally.. i couldn't take it anymore..
me and ain broke down..
but it was after the band was dismissed..
thanks for the concern..
didn't want to go home early..
so we waited for huier, candy and zoey..
felt alittle better after that..
reached home..
received a msg.. it was from him..
i didn't noe wad to reply him...
someone pls tell me wad to do..
den i told him only some.. but there was no reply after that..
haish...
this few days..
considering bout something..
should i or should i not?
a difficult decision..
but i dunno how to tell my parents..
wad will they say?
haish.. i'm really feeling very.. depressed..
not knowing wad i should do..
not knowing wad will happen the next time..
hate the sight of her..
but i dun think i have the choice not to see her.. haish..
haish.. tmr got maths test.. haven revise back..
but i'm tired..
haish..
[`MiN__]]
[__ ShOuLd I oR nOt?__]]

2004-07-19T04:06:00.000-07:00

hmmx..
today.. was quite not normal for me in the morning..
really didn't felt like talking at all..
didn't wan anyone to talk to me except for someone..
i didn't have the mood to talk and listen..
ss lesson was as usual... so bored!
den went for PE..
cher never come..
den was supposed to run 3 rounds..
in the end, we walked 1 round..
den at the end there..
act like so tired cos we already "ran" 2/3 rounds..
den just "ran" out of the field..
haha.. den that KC Chan oso never suspect..
so we heck care lor..
den went to play badminton..
played with christina..
was a nice and tiring game..
but maybe i prefer to use my own racket ba..
den went to play basketball for bout last 15 mins..
den went to class for maths..
nothing much is taught today..
den after that went for recess..arrgh!
i fell down..
after recess la..
so malu lor..
stupid XT!!
arrgH..!
so paiseh can?
den went for bio lesson..
aishah wasn't here again..
wonder how she is le..
haish.. life is unpredictable...
den 2nd period for bio..
my mood started to change.. =D
haha.. started to crap with klaire..
den she told me bout wad happened when she go out with shi min and stuffs la..
haha.. den so funnie! =x
den we decided to go scare ppl..
den tout of scaring huier..
cos she easy to scare.. =X
oops..haha.. kidding nia.. lolx.. =/
den we went to her class..
we were laughing all the way..
BTH.. den never scare her..
and we just walked out the class..
and i think she was there wondering was happened..
den went for chinese lesson..
me and klaire talked again la..
aiyo..
den was quite boring at 1st..
after awhile..
cher gave us do worksheet..
den i started to be serious..
did my work and listened to wad the t'cher was saying..
den after that went for lunch..
haha.. i was lame..
bought hotdogs and did some stunts..
haha.. lolx.. =/
den went for peer tutoring..
boring!
i was like so confused to draw the graph de..
den in the end i only did 1 qn..
arrgh!
stupid me..!
den tmr got maths remedial lesson..
sucks!
cannot go home early sia..
sianx..
haish.. tired..
tmr oso got geog test..
sian..
can't get myself to study it..
haish.. wad to do?
i always like that de la..
haish.. no matter wad..
must try to be happie...
suddenly felt that alot of touts came to my mind..
some sensitive qns came to my mind..
wanna noe wad the answer is..
but dun dare to ask..
cos i noe the ans will be no..
haish..
but can sense?
i mean i can sense abit lor..
so must be more "zi dong" dian lor..
hopefully ba..

[`MiN] --> MaGdAEnE
[__ MuSt StAy ChEeRfUl WoR`__]]

2004-07-18T04:01:00.000-07:00

haish.. so tired..
had band yesterday..
met huier and candy in the morning..
but i was late..
oops! sorry! =D
den went to school..
feeling abit empty?
felt as though i had entered a place which i'm not familiar with..
carried chairs..
arranged the chairs..
took the attendance..
felt so lost..
felt like such a large distance between us..
went down to the parade square..
they fall in..
dunno why..
i ended up with sam's squad..
took the squad..
not in the mood to shout..
took them for a run..
did some drills..
tried not think so much.. but eventually.. haish..
tried to be happy infront of them..
i tried.. i did..
finally drills are over..
went up..
get my wallet..
was very hungry..
bought a plate of food to eat..
den went up for combine..
was kinda fun yesterday.. =)
i conducted a few pieces..
and u noe wad?
janet brought my best friend/buddy to support me..
thanks!
she was standing in the room.. =)
played the horn for stone mountain..
took my trumpet over..
wanted to prepare for the solo..
stupid sia..
rachel they all turn over and laugh and me..
den i oso laugh..
den spoilt the whole solo sia..
lolx.. but is was fun..
thinking of playing the horn next practise oso..
lolx.. i wan play!!
den we heck care someone behind..
i'm disappointed with her..
didn't expect to be her..
haish.. wadever..
went out for sectionals..
tried on the horn..
den went to play challenge..
it wasn't very nice..
cos cannot really hear..
lolx.. den was like chaotic..
den it was over 12 liao..
faster ask them to pack up..
den fall in again..
dismissed them..
went to the toilet with huier and candy ..
waited for them to change..
haha.. went to the foodcourt with them..
felt i was abit *****..
haish..
den they went to watch mean gal..
me and kor went home..
went home..
had lunch..
and slept..
like pig sia..
haish..
den woke up.. watch tv.. and went out..
den until nite time den come home..
sian.. den slept lor..
this morning woke up at 10..
nothing much..
watch tv and eat lor..
really like pig sia..
lolx.. den now no one at home..
alone.. using the com.. haha.. =)
so boring now.. u left me just like that..
u appeared in my dreams..
u went to a place so faraway..
just where have u been?
why u left me just like that?
will i ever see u again?
the answer is no..
u're gone forever..
i miss u..
how i wish that nothing had happened to u..
how i wish i told u how much u meant to me..
but u're gone..
did u went to heaven or hell?
i miss u..
if there wasn't hope..
dun say there is.. haish.. mood haven't really changed..
still felt so moody..
so much things happened..
dunno how to handle..
some things are just meant to kept inside..
when will it end?
haish..
sometimes i can tell whether a person wanna listen to wad u're troubled at..
i had the experience..
she's someone close to me..
but whenever i tried to talk to her bout my troubles..
i can however sense that she doesn't wanna listen..eventually..
i started not to say out most of my things..
and kept it in my heart.. today gotta do my homework..
so sian..
dun feel like doing sia..
haish..

[`MiN__] --> MaGdaEnE
[__ TrUe FrIeNdS aRe TheRe FoR yOu`__]]

2004-07-16T03:57:00.000-07:00

haish.. i'm so damn tired now..
very stress day for me today..
haish.. tired..
dun wanna talk bout it anymore..
stop asking me questions!!
i dun wanna see u..
i dun wanna talk to u..
i hate u!!
wad u said are all fake can?
gimmie a break!!
just feel that there's so much things that they're hiding from me..
i give up!
i put in so much effort to want to make everything improve..
but wad i get back in the end?
rubbish!!
quarrelled with him just now..
some misunderstandings again..
haish.. all i need now is a break from everything can?
leave me alone!
i feel like giving up my life now..
can i just leave the world? i faced so much stress...
and who can i talk to?
i really dunno..and i sincerely wanna noe..
just who will be there for me?
haish.. there's like so much betraying things around me now..
just who can i trust?
just who is she referring to?
wad can i do?
will my parents noe wad happened today?
would someone just save me from the drowning sea?
would i ever solve all these things?
i'm not fit to be their leader..
i'm not fit to be a friend..
i'm not fit to everything..
breaking down anitime..
would someone save me?
is she referring to me?
if it is..
i rather noe everything now..
wadever u all unhappie bout..
say me now..
just let me face the blow now..
and let me get over it now..can?
wad's going on around me?
can someone tell me.
i just felt that i entered a nightmare..
can't wake up..
got pressed down again and again whenever i came up..
i wan a brainwash..
stop giving me the pressure..
i have to like make everyone happy..
u all think i'm a saint?
i can make everyone happy by listening to wad u all wan me to do?
i'm being squashed by u 2!
today.. my blood pressure raised until very high..
after saying those things..
i felt that my head was very very hot..
very very warm..
red oso..
just like " bao xue guan " lor..
haish.. "bao" le oso good..
meaning everythings over for me..mag!!
wake up!!! stop sleeping in ur nightmare..
tmr still have to go school..
can someone just put urself in my shoeS?
u noe wad i'm facing?
pressure from the teachers, committee, mr chong, parents and him!
teachers wan me to obey them.. wan me to listen to them..
committee wanna gimmie attitude..
mr chong wan me do this, do that..
he quarrelling with me.. and i can say is i'm sorry!
i misunderstood u..
parents dun understand wad postion i'm in now..
they just wan me to be a responsible band major..
everything just start from being a band major! arrgh!!!

[`MiN__] --> MaGdAEnE
[___ GiMmIe A bReAk! LeAvE mE aLoNe`__]]

2004-07-14T03:54:00.000-07:00

haish`.. wad should i say?
today as usual..
lessons..
boring..
haish..
physics got pissed off with that mdm Li..
den i finally noe how to do the POA liao..
but haish..
i just somehow couldn't really figure out how to do A maths de..
i almost went bonkers..
den after school..
had lunch with huier and candy..
at 7/11.. =D
had noodles..
den the hot water like dun have like that..
that stupid lady say me sia..
cos was like we were in the rush lor..
kaox!
den mood suddenly changed..
in band abit boring today..
like play new songs lor..
i dun like..
den kept on stop and stop..
when it stop..
gave me more time to think things that i dun wanna think..
during rest that time..
my mind wandered around too..
i was like..
why is my mind thinking of those stuffs again?
i really dun feel like thinking bout it..
its afterall the past..
why should i think about it again?
some memories cannot be erased..
forcing myself to forget those things are also difficult..
i'm like forcing myself to be happy..
haish.. wadever it is!l
ife is unpredictable..
life is torture..
life sucks!
who are my true friends?
how i wish i can read other ppl's mind..
i wanna noe wad they think bout me..
i wanna noe whether they hate me anot..
i wanna noe wad they hate me to do..
i wanna noe if i'm a good band major anot..
i can't possibly do 2 times at a time..
i have to listen to wad he say..
as i respect him..
but i can't like go against my parents and let them think is..
he led me astray wad..
he didn't..
but do they understand?
haish.. recently wondering..
wad they think bout me..
whether they treat me as their good friend like how i treated them..
just felt happy with them..
but maybe they just dunno..
maybe they feel that i'm just trying to spend my time with them..
and ask them acc me..i really wish i can read someone's mind lor..
haish.. why am i thinking of these?
wadever..
nothing much to blog liao..
bye!

[`MiN-] --> MaGdAEnE
[`-- LiFe Is UnPrEdIcTaBlE__]]

2004-07-13T03:52:00.000-07:00

back home today quite early..
bought mac home for lunch today..
mummie say eat mac one..
so go buy lor..
den stupid..
i say wan 20 packets of chilli sauce..
that person dun wan give me sia..
so sad sia..
haha.. lolx..den after that she gave me the burgers and stuff liao..
i check once thru..
tout ok liao..
den go home..
in the end reached home that time..
mummie say got 1 burger less..
den i bo bian..
had to go back take..
wa lao..
waste my time..
den mac gave me one additional apple pie on house..
lolx.. =P
den when i was home that time..
eugene was at my house..
den after my lunch,
carol came..
lolx.. she came to fecth eugene home..
their parents went to m'sia...
haha..
so mummie be day care..
lolx.. =D
den nothing else..
today aishah never come again..
haish..
miss like 4 periods of bio liao..
wa lao..
sure got make-up lessons one lor..
kaox... how can like that one?
haish.. den was like suan le lor..
wasted my time in class..
but i read thru my bio..
cos i dun understand that chap..
haha.. practically didn't listen in class ba..
lolx..
nothing much..
tonite blog again..
someone snatch with me sia..
kaox..bye!

[G]aLz --> MaGdAEnE
[__ TrUe FrIeNdS aRe HarD To FiND`__]]

2004-07-12T03:48:00.000-07:00

wee`finally home now..
lolx.. =D
yeah! ok.. its raining now..
feel like sleeping.. =/
today's lessons were boring!
Aishah wasn't here today..
den who was it that i saw when i was walking to school?
haish.. dunno la..
not my business anyway..
chinese lessons were ..
sucks! so boring lor..
haha.. den me and klaire started tickling each other..
haha.. den we found out weak point liao..
den xt and klaire kept tickling me sia.. lolx..
den we started playing liao lor..
somemore we sitting right in the front row..
lolx.. =P
den we were so tired that klaire said..
we should count how many times we yawned during her lesson..
haha.. lolx.. funnie sia.. =/
after school..
had lunch..
i was quite pissed off during maths lesson..
when i heard there was peer tutoring today..
i was like.. pls lor..
u wan us have PT can..
but at least inform us in advance wad..
not the matter if we wanna go anot..
but its the principle that matter..
u was us stay back..
inform us earlier wad..
den last minute..
like.. if we have an appointment with others..
den how?
i dun have la..but i told my mum that i will be home for lunch..
and i'm afraid she'll wait for me..
i dun wan her to wait ma..
haish.. btu after awhile..
ok liao..
den lunch time talked to huier awhile..
den after recess like di siao huier and candy..
haha...
nothing much lor.. den now abit headache..
but heck care..
just had finish my lunch..

[G]aLz --> MaGdAEnE
[__ GiMmIe A bReAK`__]]

2004-07-11T03:40:00.000-07:00

this few days.. quite tired lor..
like not enuf sleep like that..
haish.. dunno lar..
yesterday had band..
i was not late!
wad i meant was after 8 if they're late..
they will have to do push-ups..
but i asked them to report 7.30 sharp..
is to help the ppl there carry things to the AVA!!
wadever..
i was late for 17 mins..
that person called me..
i was like du lan lor..
pls lor.. u where not happy?
i do something wrong, i will be responsible for it lor..
if u say i late..
den i late la..
i oso never say i dun wanna do the push-ups..
pumpings only wad..
kaox! dun gimmie that kind of attitude hor..
u think u is who? WTF!
den it spoilt my morning..
mummy was sick yesterday..
did drills yesterday..
tiring.. i ran 5 rounds with them..
but i was in constant speed..
sometimes faster.. but never slower..
dunno why yesterday i got the stamina to run.
maybe there's alot of things in my heart..
just wanna run and forget those things..
but those things are so stuborn..
no matter how i hard i tried to get it off my heart..
i still couldn't manage to do it..
haish.. but i was grateful..
i have friends around me who care for me..
hope.. i wun trust the wrong friends lor..
something else spoilt me mood oso..
but shan't say it here..
had meeting..
oso abit du lan..
pls lor..
u're the drum major lor..
dun gimmie that kind of heck care look when we're in a meeting..
u this kind of ppl cannot be nothing to say bout the band one lor..
damn u!!
meeting over..
went home..
slept frome 2.30 to 4.45..
woke up..
got ready..
ate my dinner..
went for jeremy's concert..
met elis and huda at 5.50..
den went over to meet ain..
den went down to city hall..
haha.. so funny!
we were like kept laughing all the way lor..
lolx.. go out with huda sure will laugh de.. lolx..
the concert wasn't that bad..
stupid jeremy..
in the concert only performed 1 song..
but that song was nice.. lolx..
den he was like never really play alot one lor..
not becoe he dun wan la..
wad sia.. den the horn solo by his friend so nice sia.. lolx..
den hor..
still got one person join the SYNO from regent sec sia..
but dunno is string instruments or our kind one..
den after that something very malu thing happened to me.. haha.. lolx..
den after that went home..
jeremy too tired to eat..
so ok lor..
we went home lor.. lolx..
den he lazy sia..
wan take cab..
den he is wanna send elis home one ma..
den me oso follow lor..
elis stay same condo as me ma.. lolx..
den in the end i oso take cab home..
"da shun feng che".. haha..
den went home..
sleep liao..
tired ma..
slept until this morning..
just finished my breakfast.. lolx..
nothing much lor..
haish.. byex!

[G]aLz --> MaGdAEnE
[__WhEnEvEr U NeEd A hAnD, i'M hErE!`__]]

2004-07-09T03:36:00.000-07:00

so tired`..
came back from band at bout 7+..
started to prepare dinner for me and mark..
lolx.. today's band was still fyne.. =)
had lunch with ain, hui er, candy, melissa at my home.. lolx..
didn't really ate much..
lolx.. cos like no mood to eat?
dunno la.. like not hungry like that lor..
lolx.. in band was still ok
..did 32 pumpings today..
hmm.. not too bad..
i still can do it..
but i was exhuasted ba..
nothing much lor..
today's lesson passed quite fast..
time past quite fast..that was a good thing.. =D
haha.. hmm.. wad else?
might going out tmr..
but still not sure whether can go anot..
tmr got band..
which mean i have to wake up early tmr..
sian.. lolx.. =/
ok.. now go to the thanking stuffs liao..

[__HuI Er, Candy and Ain`__]t
hanks for accompanying me during this few days when i'm sad..
especially that period of time.. =D
i appreciate ur companion.. =)

[__JaNeT`__]
thanks for listening..
thanks for saying that u'll go burn his house.. =D
lolx.. haha..

[__DeNiSe`__]
dun say i never write bout u hor..
thanks for making noise in band..
but er.. can reduce de la.. =X
haha.. oppsx!.. lolx..

today.. just some touts passed thru my mind..
i was like wondering why i was thinking bout those things again..
haish..
it was like today is ...
haish..
maybe becos today is..
thats why i'm thinking so much ba..
maybe wad i need now is more time..
haish... nothing le..
byex!

[G]aLz --> MaGdAEnE
[__MoRe TiMe Is NeEdEd`__]]

2004-07-08T03:31:00.000-07:00

haha.. recently never blog so long le..
nothing much to blog ma..
lolx.. anyway.. wanna thanks all my friends around me..
for cheering me up when i'm down..
dun worry! i'm happy now.. i'm ok now.. =)
my heat is numb for him now..
i just hate him for doing all these things to me..
of cos.. there are some things that happened on monday
when we went to play badminton too..
but shan't say it here... =) nothing much..
recently my brain not really functioning.. lolx..
die liao wor..
bio test i copied rachel's one.. =X
shh! dun baotoh hor.. lolx..
den A maths test fail badly sia..
but at least i got 1/12 la.. lolx..
better than 0..
i dun even noe how to do a single qn.. lolx..
recently..
had been crapping and laming in class with rachel.. =D
lolx.. haha.. time passes very fast too..
that's a good thing..
been hanging out with ain, candy or hui er during lunch break b4 band..
had always been hanging out with KOXS during recess..
wad else?
dunno leh..
nothing much..
hanging out with jy they all when we go play badminton..
this saT SYO got concert..
den jeremy got 2 tickets for me and ain..
but ain might not be going..
i still dunno whether i can go anot..
cos they are at genting..
lolx.. freedom sia..
lolx.. den kor so bad sia..
like illegal gambling like that..
he called some of his classmates to my house and play mahjong..
lolx.. haha.. but me oso very bad la..
i oso got play abit..
won many rounds..
haha...

[`rAc ]
eh.. sorry ah..
recently in class kept on teasing u..
lolx.. fun for me la..
but was just playing around..
so dun mind hor..
dun angry kays? =D

[__ HuI eR`__]
recently kept saying bout wad i like you bla bla..
lolx.. dun worry..
i'm just kidding..
also just playing around only.. lolx...
hope u dun mind.. =)
sorry.. and thanks for being with me when i'm down..
nothing much to say le..
anyway..
wanna go play game le.. byex!

[G]aLz --> MaGdAEnE
[__ThAnKs FoR BeInG wItH mE wHeN i'M fEeLiNg dOwN`__]]

2004-07-04T03:28:00.000-07:00

suddenly really felt very angry and hate that person..i
really hate you!
hate u for making me a fool..
hate you for fooling me..
hate u for playing me..
hate u being such a flirt..
hate you for making use of me..
den wanting to patch with someone else..
seriously.. did u make use of me?
hate you for acting like u're so innocent..
hate u for saying that i'm spiting you..
hate you cos i trusted the wrong person..
but afterall..
i still have feelings for u..
i hate myself for being a fool..
being such a stupid and foolish person to be made used by him..
hate myself for trusting you..
i would say.. i trusted to the wrong person..
if we broke up is not becos u changed ur heart..
or rather not becos u had used enuf of me..
i wun bear this grudge..
but it turned out the other way round.. ppl out dere..
go ahead to tell him wadever i say here..
i noe he has spy around my blog..
i dun give a damn..
if u wan say.. go ahead..
izzit my business?
i wun let him off easily..
i'm one who bear grudges..
if i can do it.. i'll make his life difficult..
but when in band and playing badminton..
i take it as nothing happened between us before..
i really despise u..

[G]aLz --> MaGdAEnE
[__ HaTiNg YoU`__]]

2004-07-04T03:21:00.000-07:00

haha.. yesterday so tiring sia..
lolx.. met hui er and guys at 11+..
den went to redhill for lunch..
den after that we went down to kallang..
earlier than i expected.. sorry!
we reached there at bout 2+ lor.. lolx..
haha... den we went there sit..
eat things lor.. lolx.. den wad else?
ooh ya.. very nice sia..
choir oso not bad la..
lol.. but i not very interested in the choir..
more interested in band one lor..
lolx.. den when band came out..
we were like so enthu and excited..
lolx...wa kao..
it was very very nice lor.. lolx..
shiok sia.. got parts of seagate by Bowen and got fiera winds ending part by Deyi..
Deyi improved alot sia.. lolx..
TKS abit not very good le..
but i still like TKS.. lolx..
best drum major of the year is Deyi sec one..
poor Bowen.. got nothing..
cos got cursed by the seagate.. haha.. =Xl
olx.. haha..
den after that i dunno why i got headache..
abit like very giddy lor..
den when we were going that time rite..
that huda very siao sia.. lolx.. =/
she sang out songs so loudly..
lolx.. sit beside her oso very malu.. lolx..
after that went to PS with jy, johnathan, hui er, cherly, candy and samuel..
quite funny when we were trying to board the train to douby ghout.. lolx..
den actually wanna go eat pizza hut one..
but cos we like too ex..
so in the end decided to go eat pastamania.. lolx.
den after that my dad came and fetch me..
den sun bian send hui er and cherly home oso..
lolx..

[__ to you`__]]
i not spiting u lor..
even if i am.. i have the right to lor..
anyway its not my fault lor..
u really made me hate you sia..
u really changed the impression i had for u lor..
u are so ***** can?
i'm really beginning to hate wad u are doing..
so tired.. tmr going to play badminton..
den go god-ma's office look for her.
she wanna see me and kor..
hehe.. u noe wad?
kor siding me sia.. lolx..
i told him what happened..
he sides me..
yesterday he treated me very good..
let me play game bla bla bla.. lolx.. =)
nothing much to blog liao.. bye!

[G]aLz --> MaGdAEnE
[__ DuN JuDgE a BoOk By ItS CoVeR`_-]]

[*-- HeArT BrOkEn`--*]

[-- HeArT BrOkEn`--]